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Hello Gang, Check these out. They are HYSTERICAL and some are, dare we sound pretentious, very apropros. **I've just thought of another example: afropos: relevant in a eubonic way!** I know you all are more than capable of "getting it", but I underlined the obvious just for speed reading sake. Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. (BOY DO WE KNOW THAT!!!!!)
2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.
3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. (exactly, do the math so you end up zeroing out come tax time, do not let those incompetent people in washington have your money all year, interest free)
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down, in the near future.
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) ** This is what I'm in danger of if Telera, Pink & Puffy stop writing Beckington & Madame Doodle's norribeth & beckabeth.
11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
Also, the Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words... And the winners are:
1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.
2. flabbergasted , adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. willy-nilly , adj. impotent.
6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.
8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. flatulence , n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.
11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.
12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. pokemon, n.. a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. oyster , n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism , n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
I hope that these made you laugh? I really got a kick out of them!!
Enjoy!
Love Blaze
By the way, the icon is not mine, but I forget who I am supposed to give credit to-thank you!
Current Mood:  silly
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